


scott really doesn't like minions

by meowmixfriskies



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff I guess, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, M/M, Minions, gay boy wolf things, it's non sense, kinda cute, poor attempts to be funny, some sweary cuss words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:34:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4358123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowmixfriskies/pseuds/meowmixfriskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>scott doesn't like minions and stiles does... or does he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

scott was sitting in his rOOM waiting for the stiles. "stoles is supposed to be here by now" he said, breathe shaking like a shaking thing. where are u, stiles.... scott could feel his claws starting to emerge from his finger tips. "wHERE ARE U STILES HEY GET THE FUCK OVER H E RE" scott texted stiles. be4 he could get a reply stiles broke through his window.

"stooles! ur here" cried scott, running over to hug his friend. "yes i am here" said stiles. but then scott noticed something.

"you have a minions tshirt on" scott said  
"yeah! I love the minions" sciles replied  
".... but not as much as I luv you" stiles said, wrapping his hands around scotts neck. he had a minions bracelet on, the stupid fuck. 

GET HTE FUKC OFF ME screamed scottie.  
stiles started 3 cry of a broken heart when scott kissed him. it's not u, stiles.... its the minions. I hate those yellow fucks. Why are they yellow? Why do they have goggles? Why do we assume all minions are male? Why gave them those goggles? Do all monions have bad eye si- SCOTT SHUT UP stiles said.

"i love you too scott and if you don't like minions.... i'll gove them up. for u" he said.

"s-smiles..." he said, hugging his friend. they w3r3 in the love.

scott had a thpught. "wait, stiles, dont u hate the minions too?"

"yeah..." stiles choked on his words 

"so WHO GAVE U THOSE FUCKING MINIONS MERCHANDISE"

"d-derek did" said stiles, ashamed

"u were hanging around derek? whyVvv?????"

"only for fan service!" scott said. "sterek is a popular ship. it has over 36k fanfics, sciles only has 2k fanfi-"

scott put a wolf paw over stiles mouth. "sterek is gross and dumb and not as cute as sciles. if you ask me, sciles should have 36k fanfics"

sciles smiled "u right"

scott felt sciles shake. "what wrong dood"

stiles replied "well... i know i'm not your son, but... can I call you daddy?"

scotts breath bleww warm on stiles throat. "stiles, i've always been ur daddy"


	2. we never go out of stile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scott discovers his love for music. stiles discovers idk.

the sun rose and warmness filled their bedroom. scott and sciles were cuddled up after a hefty night of long sexing. stiles decided to wake his bfbff (best friend boy friend forever) up. 

"daddy, i'm glad you helped me stop liking the minions" stiles said, laying on scott's bed.

scott did a chuckle, I think, maybe it was a fake laugh "yeah, I fucking hate those yellow things" 

stiles frowned, glaring at scott. "WOAH WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE. Don't like the profanity. That is not what the minions represent. Don't be a trash mouth. Lots of families watch the minion."

there was a silence. scott and stiles stared at each other. scott decided to speak up.

"shut up" scott said flatly.

his boyfriend lowered his head, "alright, sheesh, wolfboy"

they spend the evening watching chinese cartoons and despicable me 1 and 2. they also made out a little, but there might!!! be kids reading so kids cover ur eyes: they did the kiss. 

"SCOTT u are crushing me leg. can you please SKOOT over." stiles cried.

"no. " he said pulling out a massive fucking guitar.

"that is a massive fucking guitar" stiles said.

"yes." scott shook his head approvingly. 

"that is" 

"a"

"massive fricking guitar"

scott then pulled up a saxophone. "this is my baby. encrusted in gold and loud. when I speak, it speaks. it is my child born of brass and love. I fear my child."

"daddy, what are you talking about"

scotts eyes turned yellow "OH GOD i'm becoming the wolf again" 

stiles ran frantically around the room. "what can I do to calm you down"

"give me the guitar, I wrote a song about you. I'll just sing the chorus."

stiles handed scott the guitar, leaving the saxophone alone. he did not dare wake it from it's brass slumber. 

ok.... scotts claws pressed roughly against the cords. "ahem... 1... 2... 3"

"you got that james dean, gay dream, look in your eye, and I got that red lip, chapstick, thing that you like. and when we go wolfing down we come back every time, cause I never go without stiles. no I never go without stiles."

before scott could finish his song, taylor swift walked in. "teen wolf is cancelled. i'm suing you for copyright. goodbye" she left in a cloud of smoke and white feminism.

stiles began to cry into scotts shirt, hugging him tite. "what r we gonna do now" he sobbed

"well, I heard derek has a little cousin who's selling cookies for the girlscouts. we can steal the cookie money and pay off the lawsuit."

"brilliant!" sciles jumped with joy "and buy some tagalongs! I love that shit!"


End file.
